Where do you begin and where do you end?

boundaries Oct 08, 2021

I’m talking today about boundaries.

Not the type that leads to neighbourhood disputes over hedges.

I’m talking about personal boundaries.

How many times do you:

  • Agree to do something but inwardly seethe with resentment?
  • Put everybody’s own needs before your own?
  • Take on responsibilities that are not yours to take on? (‘My team are busy and I don’t want to burden them’)
  • Think about what you ‘should’ do vs. what you truly want to do.

There’s a number of reasons you might be nodding your head and I can pretty much guarantee your boundaries are stamped on because of your own beliefs or fears:

  • A belief that you SHOULD put others before yourself - always
  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of being selfish
  • Fear of someone else’s reaction if you honour your own boundary
  • People pleasing or need for approval
  • Guilt or shame

Did I miss any?

Of course a lot of these beliefs and fears come from the early messages we got (explicitly or implicitly)...

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