I’m talking today about boundaries.
Not the type that leads to neighbourhood disputes over hedges.
I’m talking about personal boundaries.
How many times do you:
- Agree to do something but inwardly seethe with resentment?
- Put everybody’s own needs before your own?
- Take on responsibilities that are not yours to take on? (‘My team are busy and I don’t want to burden them’)
- Think about what you ‘should’ do vs. what you truly want to do.
There’s a number of reasons you might be nodding your head and I can pretty much guarantee your boundaries are stamped on because of your own beliefs or fears:
- A belief that you SHOULD put others before yourself - always
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of being selfish
- Fear of someone else’s reaction if you honour your own boundary
- People pleasing or need for approval
- Guilt or shame
Did I miss any?
Of course a lot of these beliefs and fears come from the early messages we got (explicitly or implicitly)...