If you’re a driver, you’ll know the potential danger of blind spots. If we’re not aware of them they can cause near misses, or more fatally, carnage – for you and anyone else nearby.

And that’s the thing about blind spots. We’re not always aware of them until it’s too late.

I went for years with a blind spot. It was a belief I had about who I was. I remember a friend of mine saying ‘you’re the strongest person I know’ and I took that as a compliment – and it was meant as a compliment.

But my big blind spot was that I was unable to show or articulate hurt.

I wanted to ‘stop’ feeling the ‘bad’ stuff.

I wanted it just to go away. (It doesn’t, of course, however hard we try. It just resurfaces in mainly unhelpful or self-sabotaging ‘coping’ mechanisms).

‘Be strong’ was my mantra. I’d clench my stomach muscles so tight to try not to feel ‘that feeling’.

Good for my core (Pilates is better) – not good for anything else! 

The person who changed my life was the first coach I ever met (he trained me, a...